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I’m not really into tough love…
Here’s why. Sometimes my Mom and Dad are really hard on me. They criticize me for every little thing. They will tell you right away when you’ve gained weight. And when you finally lose some weight they criticize you for looking too thin.
Then, what really hurts is the fact that they always compare me to other friends’ children who are (in their minds) doing extremely well, like they are doctors and making tons of money and buying their parents Mercedes Benz’s and Houses.
Now why would they do this? Do they realize that they could be hurting their children by continually criticizing them, them praising other peoples children for being more successful?
I’m thinking that I must’ve done something really bad in my past life to deserve such torture.
And it is a form of torture, because they never seem to praise my strengths and talents, only point out my weaknesses.
But maybe it has to do with religion… for if they were Buddhist I think they would have more compassion, then again, maybe not. But they are devout Catholics and being initially raised a Catholic myself, I think there is a lot of guilt surrounding Catholics in general. We’re taught that we are all sinners and that we need to do this and that to be blessed by the Lord and to get past our “original sin”.
The Dalai Lama says, “My religion is kindness”. And I wish more people were a lot kinder and more compassionate.
Also, the Dalai Lama says that when you run into people who are not kind to you, who rub you the wrong way or are negative toward you, it’s best to stay away from them. I agree.
As sad as it may seem, I try to avoid any interraction with my parents as much as possible. Whenever I go to their house I can already see their eyes as if searching for flaws or something in which to critique.
It’s tough. I’m already critical of myself and I have a low self-esteem of myself. Sometimes, I don’t understand, especially when parents have that kind of power to hurt their children that way.
We need more compassion in this world. Not just with strangers but especially with people we know and love.
But, as the saying goes, “You only hurt the ones you love”.
I guess you can’t really hurt an enemy. It’s already acknowledged that they are the enemy. The people you can hurt are the ones you love, because they have put their trust in you and leave themselves vulnerable to attack….
More compassion, please….
My personal dream has always been to travel… to India, to Nepal, to the Himalayas… to all those holy lands and temples. My reasoning is to journey to these special places to gain from the inspiration and experience of having visited these places in person.
What if… there is no possible way that you are going to be “able” to travel to these places?
As with me, I am a simple person. I have a modest salary as a musician, and I try to live my life very modestly, many times without choice.
So, how can I travel to these places without having to visit them?
This brings up the point that the real journey lies within…
No one is going to appreciate anything unless the journey within is “real”…
All my dreams to visit these special places are just dreams, really. The purpose is to improve body, mind and spirit through inner means. Exterior means might help one, but the change is always an inner one.
So, I might never get the chance to visit the Himalayas, or Nepal, or India. But, I feel I will always keep a special place for these distant lands within my “heart”. And, that is where they truly belong.
I often ponder why there is so much suffering in the world.
But when you think about it, without us humans, the world could be considered a perfect place.
It is us humans who criticize each other for our imperfections. It is us humans who are unhappy with how we perceive the world and must change it, the people, and things to suit our needs.
But, I think without us, the world would be perfectly happy without us. The world would be just what it is.
I don’t mean to put down us humans overall, because in general I do believe that we generally have a positive disposition, and we basically want the world to be a wonderful place in which to live.
Realistically, however, people suffer and aren’t happy. They tend to blame others and forces outside of themselves.
From situations where the boss is yelling at you, or a driver is honking at you for making a lane change… to arguments between friends or family… to losing your job. The world could be considered imperfect through our eyes.
At the same time, our world could be considered perfect as is. That there are always opposite forces pull and contracting and repelling one another. There does seem to be a natural law of opposites either attracting or same things repelling.
Either way, we humans tend to experience suffering at the hands of such natural forces of nature.
I think, that, my attitude is changing over the years. I can take things nowadays for what it is, at face value. I am less affected by what others think of me or how they treat me.
It’s important to have an inner guide that helps you walk through the muck and rise above the quicksands of life. An internal and eternal compass that keeps one steady throughout the inevitable changes of one’s life….
Keep a path with a heart. And be true to yourself.
[ this little entry is dedicated to danette... thank you for inspiring me to continue writing here, as I have been on hiatus and was beginning to lose my focus ]
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I’ve recently written an entry over here about a dream I have always had, of traveling to The Himalayas.
But, the above entry was more for the collaboration project and not-so-much my innermost feelings about it.
I’ve always had this dream since I was a child, of traveling to the snowy peaks of the Himalayan mountain range. The dream or vision affected me enough that I had gotten into Eastern Philosophy as a teenager. And I sort of became obsessed with all things related to the mysticism and spirituality of the East.
As a teen I was already meditating. I studied the Bhagavad Gita, after obtaining a free copy from a Hari Krishna devotee at an airport. This was a long time ago, of course, as the Hari Krishnas are prohibited from preaching their religion at airports.
Anyway, the dream or vision still remains to this day. Well, more of this desire to travel to that distant land more than anything else.
But it causes me to question…
Do I really need to travel somewhere to attain some sense of spiritual closure, or completeness?
Does traveling anywhere really benefit the person experiencing the journey?
Myself, I don’t really have the financial means to become a world traveler. And I’m sure I’m not alone in saying this, but perhaps there is some energy or feeling that can be acquired by traveling to certain places. And being that many places in the Himalayas are considered holy, they presumably can benefit the traveler seeking a means to go on a pilgrimage.
I’ve always thought early in my life that I would be able to somehow travel to India, Nepal, and Tibet. Maybe I shouldn’t dismiss the possiblity just yet, even as I am older now and have family obligations and such.
But, in my mind I am traveling there. Getting some kind of sense or vibe of the region, through my visualizations, through reading and study, through pictures and photos… and from others who’ve traveled there.
So, in a sense I have been there in spirit, perhaps….
Buddhist Philosophy would say that it’s all in your mind, anyway. And places one has traveled are only but memories of those past experiences.
Either way, the true path to any spiritual or contemplative destination, is always an inner journey of devotion and self-discovery….
On Friday I was involved in a car accident (not my fault). While driving to my gig I suddenly heard a loud bang and felt the initial jolt as someone rear-ended me on the freeway. Miraculously I was not injured, nor did my SUV rollover. I think that the size of my SUV caused more damage to the other driver than mine. Anyway, the other driver sped off and left me by the side of the freeway.
Anyway, this whole weekend has been a bit of a disappointment for me. But, I think it’s been because of the accident on Friday that my whole weekend so far has negatively affected my psyche.
But, it is important to be understanding and show forgiveness towards all people and all situations. That is the right way, though we as humans can’t help be feel emotions and react to certain events in our lives. But forgiveness and understanding is an important part of our lives nonetheless.
It’s just that it’s more challenging to forgive, than to express anger, disappointment, and frustration in our lives….
Still, we must press on towards a path to a higher goal, and not be disillusioned by our mundane experiences.
Hello everyone!
Chances are (and being that this blog is so new!) you’ve come here from my other site, carlosrull.com (in my mind’s zen garden).
This space will be reserved for my random thoughts and musings regarding yoga, eastern philosophy, buddhism and spirituality, not to mention metaphysical studies.
My minor in college was in World Religions, but I’ve always held an interesting in the religious and philosophical studies of Asia.
Please come back and visit if you have an interest in this area of existence. I’ll be sure to develop the site with more articles, photos and random thoughts.
Peace & Love,
Randomguru
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