Harsh Criticism vs Compassion

I’m not really into tough love…

Here’s why. Sometimes my Mom and Dad are really hard on me. They criticize me for every little thing. They will tell you right away when you’ve gained weight. And when you finally lose some weight they criticize you for looking too thin.

Then, what really hurts is the fact that they always compare me to other friends’ children who are (in their minds) doing extremely well, like they are doctors and making tons of money and buying their parents Mercedes Benz’s and Houses.

Now why would they do this? Do they realize that they could be hurting their children by continually criticizing them, them praising other peoples children for being more successful?

I’m thinking that I must’ve done something really bad in my past life to deserve such torture.

And it is a form of torture, because they never seem to praise my strengths and talents, only point out my weaknesses.

But maybe it has to do with religion… for if they were Buddhist I think they would have more compassion, then again, maybe not. But they are devout Catholics and being initially raised a Catholic myself, I think there is a lot of guilt surrounding Catholics in general. We’re taught that we are all sinners and that we need to do this and that to be blessed by the Lord and to get past our “original sin”.

The Dalai Lama says, “My religion is kindness”. And I wish more people were a lot kinder and more compassionate.

Also, the Dalai Lama says that when you run into people who are not kind to you, who rub you the wrong way or are negative toward you, it’s best to stay away from them. I agree.

As sad as it may seem, I try to avoid any interraction with my parents as much as possible. Whenever I go to their house I can already see their eyes as if searching for flaws or something in which to critique.

It’s tough. I’m already critical of myself and I have a low self-esteem of myself. Sometimes, I don’t understand, especially when parents have that kind of power to hurt their children that way.

We need more compassion in this world. Not just with strangers but especially with people we know and love.

But, as the saying goes, “You only hurt the ones you love”.

I guess you can’t really hurt an enemy. It’s already acknowledged that they are the enemy. The people you can hurt are the ones you love, because they have put their trust in you and leave themselves vulnerable to attack….

More compassion, please….